He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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