Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
