Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
