i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
