His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
