I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
