Porn is love you can see.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
