she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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