I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i will never coherently bang her
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
