I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
