I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
