So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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