Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
