i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
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Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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