i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
