ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
