everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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