i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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