It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
