YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
