Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
