She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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