I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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