I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
