we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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