Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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