Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
