It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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