have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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