Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
