We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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