i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
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