You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
home. puking in laundry basket.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
