It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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