After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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