ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Of course I have a pirate flag
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
