so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
