Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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