i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
