she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So vagazzling was a success
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize