What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I need moral support for this bender
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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