he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
