dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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