Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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