singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize