There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
