She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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