i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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