Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
