remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
