Swine flu. Run for my life!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
