Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
