There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
