I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
