Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
